It's Gettin' Deep In Here!

Watch your step.  You might step in some bullshit.

Today's entry will take a look at an agency that caters to the Christian Market.  They're looking for inspirational books that will make a difference.  They are the MacGregor Agency.

I'm not sure if they read the same Bible that I do, but mine says that I shouldn't ought to "bear false witness against (my) neighbor."  To make it a little more palpable: DON'T LIE!

To read their website, you'd think that when Jesus returns to Earth, He will visit them first and give them an award for getting potential bestsellers into the hands of publishers.  Mr. MacGregor claims that just one of his agents managed to place 30 books last year!  That's remarkable!

Now I've mentioned this agency elsewhere in the blog, but I just now got a chance to really investigate their company. 

They're the agency that CLAIM to have one agent with 30 manuscripts sold last year, yet can't afford the staff to reply to email queries.  If they can't afford the staff, then either they DIDN'T sell those 30 manuscripts, or they sold each one for about a buck and a half each.

Looking a little further on their site, I came across this:

MacGregor Literary works primarily with established authors. At this time we are not looking to add unpublished authors except through conferences and referrals from current clients.

Regretfully, we cannot invest in the staffing needed to handle the vast number of unsolicited queries and proposals that have begun flooding in. For that reason we will no longer return unsolicited manuscripts sent to us, even if a self-addressed stamped envelope is included.

Holy fucking cow, you cheap ass motherfuckers!  Not only are you rude, you're also un-fucking-believably LAZY!  Who in the Wide World of Sports could possibly want a group like this to represent them?  I mean, here we have a whole bevy of agents claiming to help their clients, just as long as the client has done the hard work of becoming published FIRST!  Then they have the unmitigated gall to tell us that if they don't like our query, they're not going to answer.  NOT EVEN IF WE INCLUDE A SASE!

These assholes are so stuck on themselves that they can't even bother to use a self addressed stamped envelope to reply to potential authors.

I read the Bible too.  Mine says that I should treat people as I want to be treated.  I guess that means that the MacGregor Agency wants people to treat them as pondscum.

Your wish is my command.  Take your agency and shove it up your ass.