First Things First

I'm an angry author.

Well, not really.

To be an author, you have to have written something.  Then that something has to have been published.

I've written plenty.   But none of it has been published.

Stuff must be lousy, huh?

Well, I dunno.  Almost everyone who reads it seems to enjoy it.  My writing instructor at college gave me an A and told me I had a big future ahead of me.  One of his books was on the NY Times Bestsellers List, so I don't think he had any reason to lie to me.

So why isn't my stuff published?

Two words:  Stinkin' Literary Agents.

Okay, that was three.  At least I didn't use the "F" word.

I am in the process of trying to find a literary agent.  I don't have much use for them (to tell you the truth) because most of them that I've met (probably a dozen or so at writer's conferences) are stuck up snobs with an overinflated opinion of themselves.  They KNOW that 95% of publishers won't look at an unagented manuscript which means THEY are the only hope you have of being published.  Because of that, they expect you to kiss their ass as they sit on their high horse.  That lets them know that you're there, bothering them, and they can brush you away like yesterday's dust.

Now I know that with the advent of the internet, agents are now besieged with queries and unsolicited manuscripts because now that everyone has a computer, everyone thinks they can write (we'll talk more about that later).  That doesn't give anyone the right to be rude, but most agents didn't get the memo on that.

This blog is going to name names and keep you up to date on my agent search.  I'm a coward for the most part, so I'm going to hide behind my pseudonym of Billy Shakespeare and my email address of anangryauthor@gmail.com.  Agents hold a grudge, so I'll do everything I can to protect my identity so I won't be blackballed in the publishing world.  I've been submitting to agents for more than a year, keeping copious records on each, and I'm going to share that with you.  I'll let you know how long it took for them to respond, if they sent a form letter, if it was personal, or if it just sounded personal.

For the asswipes who claim to be "to busy" (read that as "too fucking lazy") to answer their email, I'm going to let you know about them too... and I'll be even more rude than they were when they didn't respond.

Hang on folks..... it's gonna be a fun ride.