Writer's Digest

When I bought the latest copy of Guide to Literary Agents, I removed a scratch off thing from the inside front cover to reveal a code to allow me 12 months access to online updates of the book.  I certainly HOPE they update it because, despite the fact that it's been on the bookstore bookshelves less than a month, it's horribly out of date already!  Some students have reported that agents listed in there are either out of business, or that the emails they send bounce right back.  More on this in later posts.

Back to the access to online updates.

IMMEDIATELY after I signed up for the updates, Writer's Digest, those trolls who publish a monthly magazine dedicated to making people think they're better writers than what they are, and the people who published the Guide (as well as other self help writing books) have absolutely inundated me with advertisements for the shit they sell.  Every day, there's at least one new offer, if not two or three.  Magazine publishing may not be going so well nowadays, but these fuckheads have found a way to make up for that.

They sell overpriced software that will help you plot a book.  They sell books to help you name your characters.  They sell webinars that do everything from help you write the fucking book to finding a literary agent to publishing it yourself (once every agent has turned down your drivel).  Man, they've covered every base possible!

Today's bullshit is a book by Donald Maass.  The ad I got is below.

Retail: $16.99 Your Price: $10.63

Writing 21st Century Fiction Does your novel belong on the best-seller lists with The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin, and Changes by Jim Butcher? With this new book from best-selling author Donald Maass, you'll uncover your authentic writing voice, and put it to use writing high impact fiction. In each chapter, you'll uncover practical tools to use in your writing that will: Transcend traditional genre boundaries Create unique realities for your story Conjure characters who feel more "real" than real people Show readers the world around them in new ways Push your writing beyond the outdated styles of twentieth-century fiction - start Writing 21st Century Fiction today!

Mr. Maass is one of those people who doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up.  He's supposedly a prominent literary agent, but he's also one of those who claims to be VERY busy, donchaknow.  Evidently, instead of representing authors, he's busy penning books for the Writer's Digest people.  He's listed as author of three other books on how to write.

Maybe he should turn the reigns of his agency over to someone who actually cares about the people they represent so he can devote all his time to sloshing out this pigslop for the WD people.

Just a thought.

One of my colleagues here at school used to work for Writer's Digest.  He was an evaluator for one of their writing courses.  Some day, I'll either tell you his story, or I'll have him do a guest blog on it.  For now, let's just say that I hope you haven't spent any of your hard earned money on their course.